Divorce is very disruptive for young children. Their homes and daily schedules change. The dynamics with not just their parents but also their siblings also abruptly shift. Divorce can destabilize a child’s sense of self and family. They may feel anxious or depressed.
It takes some time for children to adjust to divorce after their parents initially separate. Thankfully, parents can take certain steps to make a divorce less traumatizing for their children. Creating new holiday traditions can be an important part of the healing process. Holiday traditions give children a sense of community and family. They create the foundation for those children’s future holiday practices when they are adults with families of their own.
Even if the same traditions aren’t realistic anymore, divorced parents can create new traditions. What is the recipe for annual holiday magic? If this Christmas was challenging, here are some things to keep in mind for next year.
Consider what works
The family may have already created a few traditions that the children look forward to each year. Visits with family, religious observances, special excursions and unique foods can all be part of valuable holiday traditions.
Parents trying to create new traditions should think about what traditions the children enjoy. They may even want to ask the children what they look forward to the most each year. That insight can help parents focus on cultivating traditions that connect with their children.
Focus on experiences — not expenses
Holiday traditions can easily become cost-prohibitive after a divorce. Fortunately, there are typically ways to recreate or modify existing traditions to make them more affordable.
Making Christmas cookies from scratch may only cost a few dollars in ingredients but can provide hours of laughter and creativity for the children, followed by the joy of gifting something they made themselves. Doing a white elephant gift exchange or exchanging handmade gifts can also create a fun new tradition for the family.
Keep the new traditions consistent
The first year or two after a divorce can feel awkward and uncertain. However, parents are the ones who create consistency and structure. Make a written note of the traditions the family practices now and ensure that they are part of the holiday celebrations every year going forward. Parents who prioritize finding ways to connect with their children and make the holidays joyful can bring the holiday spirit back to their families.
Divorce does not need to end holiday traditions. It merely changes them. Centering the children when planning the holidays after a divorce can help those who share child custody give the children the holiday happiness they deserve.