No rational parent in Texas or elsewhere wants to hurt his or her kids in a divorce or any time thereafter.
And, yet, that unfortunate outcome does happen in marital disputes across the country because, well, adults often act like kids.
It doesn’t take the sharpest child therapist in the world to readily note that the healthy development of children is sorely sabotaged by divorcing parents who openly bicker with and disparage each other with the kids watching.
Conversely, many people in the business of knowing a thing or two about families with kids — psychologists, family law attorneys and other professionals who work regularly with children — know this about kids’ prospects for growing up healthy following a family fissure: They are materially heightened when mom and dad purposefully strive to treat each other in a positive way leading up to and in the wake of divorce.
Although that is hardly rocket science, it is deemed worthy of stressing by a commentator in a recent divorce-related article on adult behavior and its effects on children.
What is centrally noted within that piece is how critically important it is for divorcing parents to avoid overt acrimony, name calling, blame laying and public denigration of each other in front of the children.
That, frankly, is a recipe for family woe down the road.
The “first act of heroism” noted in the above-cited article is for divorcing parents to think in terms of the present and future rather than the past, and to understand that their children need to continue seeing them as a unified force rather than as divided providers.
In simplest terms, what that really means is that parents need to shelve any animosity and base motivations and, instead, act as adults willing to work together post-divorce in ways that nurture rather than harm their children.
Yes, that can certainly be difficult in some instances, but it’s not about the need for a mom or dad to vent; rather, it’s about acting in a manner that fosters the esteem of the other parent and engenders healthy development in children.