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Post-breakup blues: resist the urge to wallow

On Behalf of | Jan 27, 2015 | Uncategorized

There is a difference between wallowing and duly reflecting on your pain following a marital or other breakup. The former strategy — if, indeed, wallowing qualifies as a game plan — might actually feel good for awhile as a complete letting-go into self-pity and prolonged episodes of why-me crying jags, but it really doesn’t do much for constructively dealing with pain and purposefully moving on.

To contrast, well-considered reflection — following an I’ve-earned-it descent temporarily into sloppy emotionalism — can indeed be the ticket to deeper insight into what your had, why you lost it, who you truly are as a person, and the steps you need to resolutely take following a divorce or other breakup.

Study findings that are discussed in a recent media piece focused on post-breakup behavior stress that some — but not endless — wailing and gnashing of teeth is healthy and even appropriate behavior after a relationship sours and is terminated.

The trick is distinguishing between that above-cited wallowing and what the article points to as positive reflection that “can help speed the healing process” following a breakup.

What study findings seem to centrally relate as efficacious can be passed along in a couple quick and straightforward advice-focused mantras, namely these: Give in, but don’t give up. Acknowledge the pain, but don’t endlessly dwell upon it.

Researchers say that, while the passage of time is a central component in the process of healing following a relationship’s breakup, things can be expedited somewhat when a person opts to squarely face, talk about and process their emotions in the wake of an ended relationship.

Research indicates that making inroads into an understanding of self following a breakup is a necessary precursor to moving ahead in life. Given that, dispassionate reflection on all material aspects of a terminated relationship can be instrumental in forging a healthy life perspective going forward.

Candid discussions with friends and loved ones, counseling and other conduits that encourage self-examination and honesty can obviously be centrally relevant in promoting that salutary aim.


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