Parents will sometimes try to stick out a marriage for the sake of the kids. Many of these individuals will soon find out that this isn’t feasible because they are fighting way too much. When this occurs, a divorce is likely the best option. But, what about the children?
Sometimes, parents opt to use the co-parenting model of child custody. This means that both adults play an active role in the child’s rearing and some of the same rules apply at both homes. Special events, such as graduations and school events, will bring the parents together to support the child. Some co-parents even take vacations together. If you are considering the co-parenting model, here are a few ways to make sure that your children are able to thrive:
Settle disagreements early and privately
There are going to be issues that you and your ex can’t agree on right away. Take the time to settle these matters quickly and privately. Don’t try to involve your children by making them be miniature messengers. Instead, think about the options that are available and determine which one is in the child’s best interests. By putting the child first and looking at the situation from the outside, you might find that there is a mutually agreeable answer to the problem at hand. If this isn’t possible, you may need to head to court to find a solution.
Show mutual support for the children
Your children will need your support to make it through the divorce. This is a hard time for them. Talk to them and find out what they need from you. Be willing to listen as they air their concerns and frustrations. You might have to help them find appropriate ways to do this, but they will count on you being patient and understanding now. Even when things get tough, your children will count on you to be a stable and supportive adult for them.
Respect the adults in the child’s life
Seeing your ex with another partner might not be easy, but you will have to find ways to cope with this so that your children can thrive. Don’t badmouth the other adults in your child’s life. Any issues with your ex or the new partner should be addressed in private, but respect must still be present. It might be beneficial for you to ask yourself if the new person or your ex is harming the children. If the answer is no, taking a step back might be a good idea.
