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Parenting after a particularly contentious divorce

Texas parents are constantly bombarded with the fact that they should be sharing the parenting responsibilities after the end of their marriages. The problem is that not all couples who get a divorce are ready to sit down at the holiday table with their exes. In many situations, neither ex-spouse can deny the fact that the other is a good parent. So, what do these couples do? Co-parenting is not an option, but "parallel parenting" might be.

In contrast to co-parenting, couples who decide to give parallel parenting a try have as little contact with each other as possible. Their contact consists of making decisions and arrangements regarding the children. In fact, even those conversations are handled through texts, emails or a parenting app in order to prevent having to be in the same room together.

In contrast to co-parenting, there is no expectation that each household will be consistent when it comes to routine or discipline. However, if parents can agree on at least some loosely basic guidelines, this would probably help the children. If a Texas couple wants to co-parent, but thinks any effort to do so would fail, especially in the beginning, parallel parenting might be an option. As time goes on, co-parenting might be possible, but neither parent should feel pressured to do so.

During the divorce process, it might be beneficial to create a parenting plan that allows the parties to have as little contact as possible while allowing the children as much access to each parent as possible. Rules regarding contact, holidays and overnights can be outlined in an agreement at a minimum. If agreements regarding routine and discipline are possible, this can be an added benefit.

Source:, "You Can Go Your Own Way! Why Parallel Parenting May Be For You!", March 14, 2017

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Vernier & Associates, PLLC Vernier & Associates, PLLC

Vernier & Associates, PLLC
2441 High Timbers Drive Suite 110
The Woodlands, TX 77380

Phone: 281-882-3271
Fax: 832-585-0955

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